Cast Swap
by 10Years-Of-FRIENDS-In-2weeks
Summary: *no longer writing*
1. Chapter 1

**This was co-written with Wolfy or stormtwilightnight as I think her fan fiction is called.**

**Just a two-shot dedicated to our amazing friend Spark whose Birthday is coming up soon! Happy birthday! We meant to make it a One-Shot but it didn't exactly work. We will be using the names of the characters of Twilght rather than the actors but the use the actors for SWAC, we know this is awkward but deal with it. This is rated T because Wolfy is a pain in the f*****g ass.**

_**Wolfy: Malt Twisney studios presents…**_

… _**the hip…***_

… _**the new…**_

… _**the awesome…**_

… _**the-**_

_**Sapphire: JUST GET TO THE F*****G POINT!**_

_**Wolfy: Okay okay! Chill! Okay let me start ag-**_

_**Sapphire: JUST SAY CAST SWAP!**_

_**Wolfy: Well you just did it! Thanks a lot!**_

_**Sapphire: Well now that that's covered. Here is our story for Spark! **_

_**Wolfy: Chocolate monkeys and cheese. Apples are racist. My maths teacher is Santa Claus. Jingle bells. E equals-**_

_**Sapphire: SHUT THE F**K UP DUMB ASS! Now here is the story. *smiles sweetly***_

_**Wolfy: *glares* MC SQUARED!**_

**Cast Swap**

The two teens were sitting on their window seats in their office. All was quiet. Until…

"I'm BORED! There's nothing to do! Why is there nothing to do!" The one going by the name of Wolfy Jenny Lockhart, whined.

"Come on Wolfs, we're TV presenters there must be- yeah we have nothing to do." The one with the name of Sapphire Sky Dublin, sighed agreeing with her sister in everything but blood.

There was a silence for a moment until Wolfy looked out the window and stated the obvious. "It's twilight now."

Sapphire sighed. "And SWAC's coming on now." The two girls smirked and then quickly turned to each other, saying at the same time

"I thought of it first! No you didn't! Yes I did!"

Wolfy yelled on her friend Coco whilst Sapphire yelled on Harmony.

Wolfy looked at Sapphire confused. "Why did you yell on Harmony?" She asked.

"Because I know she'll be on my side. Why did you yell on Coco?" Sapphire retorted.

"Because I know she would be on _my _side!" Wolfy replied.

"Well then there's only one answer…" The long haired brunette said.

"SPARK!" They said in unison.

~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~

After a long discussion/argument/debate they came to the conclusion that they both thought of it at the same time, they decided to actually get on with the plan in the first place.

Harmony held the camera, Coco the boom mike, and Spark stood next to Harmony, shaking her head.

Sapphire and Wolfy stood at the door of the SWAC set grinning like idiots, well Wolfy smirking like a creep, but you get the point. They wore ripped skinny jeans and bright off the shoulder tops, Sapphire's in neon blue and Wolfy's in neon pink with matching stilettos. They had make-up on and coloured streaks in their hair to match their outfits.

Inside the set the cast were shooting a live show, in which they had no idea that a crew of friends, filming their latest TV show, were about to come and interrupt the performance.

Back with the girls they were watching the shoot on an ipad. It was a (very serious to Sapphire) channy moment. All was calm until Harmony said it was time to go in.

"No!" Sapphire whisper-yelled. "It's the middle of a channy moment! They might kiss! Please don't- OH! THEY KISSED!" She exclaimed clapping and jumping up and down.

"God help me." Wolfy said to the camera which, by now, was on and broadcasting live.

"Okay we can go in now!" Sapphire said, to the camera like Wolfy. "Now beware we may surprise them so much they call security."

"Oh don't worry! I have a taser!" Wolfy grinned.

"Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day it will happen." Sapphire placed a hand on her friends shoulder.

Wolfy pouted. "Okay then… CHARGE!" They ran in, Wolfy taser in hand.

Sterling tried to call security but before he could, Wolfy tasered him.

"Arrrrgggghhhhhhh" he yelped then fell unconscious.

Sapphire had a shocked expression. "Wow. She really did have a taser…" Her eyes went wide. "OH MY GOD! SHE JUST TASERED STERLING KNIGHT!"

"Hehehe, that was fun!" said Wolfy, "Again, again!"

Sapphire glared, "You just tasered a b****y celebrity and all you have to say is 'hehehe that was fun, again, again!' Gah! We are on live TV! Everyone just saw you taser Sterling Knight. I cannot believe you!"

"Yes! I made the news! I can see the headline now, 'Sterling Knight tasered by teen girl!'. Anyway, I did tell you that I had a taser and you didn't believe me so technically its your fault that I got away with it because if you had believed me then this might not have happened. You know that I shouldn't be trusted with these things. Remember what happened last time. You gave me a lighter and I set Joe Jonas on fire."

"But I don't actually hate Sterling Knight!" Sapphire stated. By now the whole studio audience and cast were staring at the pair, cameras rolling.

"Yes but it's still the same thing, wait you gave me the lighter on purpose. You knew that I would set him on fire." Wolfy pouted, "You used my little self control for evil. I like you!"

"Hello? I'm still unconscious!" Sterling woke up.

"SHUT UP!" Wolfy tasered him again.

"YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! Why don't you just taser the whole cast?" Sapphire asked rhetorically and sarcastically.

"Okay!" Wolfy chirped slowly prowling towards Demi.

"No way!" Sapphire said taking the taser off Wolfy.

"Awww! You ruin my fun," Wolfy pouted, then smiled evilly, "I have a lighter!" She then proceeded to setting Sapphire's sleeve on fire

"EEEEEEEEPP!" Sapphire squeaked, "Someone get me some f*****g water!"

Doug (Grady) ran forward with water, throwing it on Sapphire's whole body, rather than just the sleeve. Sapphire was fuming.

Wolfy began hiding behind Doug, "If she wasn't so wet, then you would see steam coming out her ears and maybe her hair going as red as Spark's" she stated.

Sapphire growled and charged at Wolfy, "I'm going to kill you!" She screamed. Doug sighed in relief, "You after her!" Sapphire added.

His eyes widened. "Help me." He 'manly' squeaked.

Wolfy stopped running and grabbed her taser off the ground. Sapphire had dropped it in her fury. "Come any closer and I shall taser Demi! Hehehe!" Wolfy said.

Demi started to back away.

"Oh no you don't!" Wolfy said, grabbing Demi, "Feel a strange sense of déjà vu Sapphire."

"What? Oh yeah. Role play. Yeah you grabbed 'ImSoSonny' and held Bellatrix's wand to her head threatening to kill her!" Sapphire exclaimed.

"But I didn't!" said Wolfy (no pun/quote intended).

Everyone stared, confused at the two.

"Well, sorry to have to wrap this up. You know that I love a good fight but we need to take the cast of SWAC and then go rampage the set of Twilight!" said Spark.

~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~ ~Happy Birthday Spark~

On the set of Twilight, they where filming the scene in BD were all the good people thought they were going to die. The bit at the end before Alice gets there with the hybrid.

Sapphire and Wolfy had been attached to the invisible ropes and were ready to go.

I gotta feeling started playing and the pair dropped down onto the set, singing along, Sapphire with a drumstick, pretending it's a wand, Wolfy with, well, who knows?

"I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night… Oh woops, we meant to come at the beginning or the end (pun intended) but our timing was delayed because of a lighter and a taser." Sapphire gritted her teeth.

The two girls got down from the wires.

"Who had the taser?" Emmett asked.

"Wolfy!" Sapphire said, "Wait, if she brought that to SWAC then… what did she bring here?"

"Well… I brought this!" Wolfy pulls out a gun, "Run whilst you still can!" She points it at Sapphire

"Don't you dare! I'm to young to die!" Sapphire made a lung at the gun as Wolfy pulled the trigger.

The ammo shot toward Aro.

"Arrrrrgghhhh!" He screamed.

"OMG. YOU JUST SHOT A PERSON IN THE EYE! WAIT WHY DIDN'T IT KILL HIM?" Sapphire said.

"It's a BB Gun, it shoots pellets" Wolfy stated.

"Right…" said Sapphire, not exactly knowing what to say to that.

"Hey do you want me to shoot Edward?" Wolfy muttered to Sapphire.

Sapphire nodded.

"Attack!" Wolfy shouted, shooting Edward in the ear, then the nose and then where no boy wants to be shot, or, in other words, his privates!

"What the hell!" He shouted.

"Hehehe, well anyway, straight to the point. We need to nick Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett for our new TV show. Don't worry they will hopefully live to tell the tale if anything." said Wolfy.

**Disclaimer:**

**Sapphire: *15 minutes before Spark's party, dressed**calling Wolfy***

**Wolfy: *Picks up phone* Hey Sapph!**

**Sapph: Hey Wolfs. I need your help.**

**Wolfy: With what?**

**Sapph: Spark's birthday present from us.**

**Wolfy: Why?**

**Sapph: It refuses to get in the box! Do you have *said louder* A TRANQUILLISER GUN?**

**Taylor Lautner: *in back round* Getting in the box!**

**Sapph: oh… never mind.**

**Wolfs: okay! See you soon! Bye!**

**Sapph: BYE!**

**Sapph: *wraps present* *wraps different outfits* *puts box on trolley and walks to Spark's house* *gives present to Spark* **

**Wolfy and Sapph: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**

**Spark: *Opens present* OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS GOT ME TAYLOR LAUTNER!**

**Taylor: GET ME OUT OF HERE!**

**Sapph: yes. Now you can give me and Wolfy the rights to everything mentioned in this story.**

**Spark: not gonna happen. SAPPHIRE AND WOLFY OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sapphire: Hey tweeps! What's crack-a-lack-in' cuz? **

**Wolfy: Soz 'bout Sapph. She gone a little twisty, round the bend and stuff.**

**Sapphire: IM NOT GAY WOLFY! IF ANYONES GAY ITS YOU! xD**

**Wolfy: I never said you were. I just said you were crazy, like if you go round the bend, its like you've gone bonkers. And btw OR fyi OR for the record… wait what was I gonna say… Oh yeah, I'm not *beeeeeeeeeeeep* GAY. I am as straight as a straight plank of wood!**

**Sapphire: oh… oops… anyway. *turns to audience* *puts on smile* Here is the next chapter of 'Cast Swap'! Where we hope that Sterling, Aro and Edward recover from the trauma that is Wolfy. **

**Sterling, Aro and Edward: *limping, crutches, eye patches, bruises etc***

**Wolfy: Hey! I'm not a trauma… I'm worse! And btw Aro, you don't need an eye patch coz there wouldn't be any difference. You already have red eyes. You're acting like little girls! Be men. *Takes away Edward's crutches* **

**Edward: *Falls on Sterling, who falls on Aro, who falls on the floor, resulting in them all falling to the ground* *they all scream like the girls they are***

**Sapphire: That's not funny Wolfy!**

**Wolfy: I no like you no more. *crosses arms over chest and pouts***

**Sapphire: *offers to helps Sterling up* *lets go of his hand halfway up* *laughs* Now THAT'S funny!**

**Wolfy: I like you now. *Does special handshake with Sapphire* Now, I've been thinking, what would happen if you decided to look at these 3 'men' in the nude. Would they have cocks or fannys?**

**Sapphire: Scarring images, scarring images… but a very good point!**

**Spark: Can I check!**

**Sapphire: NO! Wait, what are you doing here? I thought you would be playing with your birthday present.**

**Wolfy: Sapphire, remember, its all tired coz it was used to much. *Wink, wink***

**Spark: Well it is my story and Wolfy, that is completely… true.**

**Sapphire: SHUT IT! JUST GET ON WITH THE *beeeeeeeeeep* STORY!**

**Chapter 2!**

Sapphire and Wolfy sat in the studio singing along to 'You Can't Stop The Beat'.

You cant stop an avalanche

As it races down the hill

You can try to stop the seasons, girl

But ya know you never will

And you can try to stop my dancin' feet

But i just cannot stand still

*Everyone from SWAC and Twilight come in, apart from Sterling and Edward, and start dancing and singing*

Cause the world keeps spinnin'

Round and round

And my heart's keeping time

To the speed of sound

I was lost til i heard the drums

Then i found my way

*Everyone somehow knows the dance and are dancing along*

Cause you can't stop the beat

Ever since this old world began

A woman found out if she shook it

She could shake up a man

And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it

The best that i can today

'Cause you cant stop

The motion of the ocean

Or the sun in the sky

You can wonder if you wanna

But i never ask why

And if you try to hold me down

I'm gonna spit in your eye and say

That you cant stop the beat!

*Sterling and Edward come in, in wheel chairs, and everyone looks at them weirdly* *They shrug and start to spin round singing along to*

You can't stop a river

As it rushes to the sea

You can try and stop the hands of time

But ya know it just can't be

And if they try to stop us, Seaweed,

I'll call the N Double A C P

Cause the world keeps spinning

Round and 'round

And my heart's keeping time

To the speed of sound

I was lost til i heard the drums

Then i found my way

Cause you can't stop the beat

Ever since we first saw the light

A man and woman liked to shake it

On a saturday night

And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it

With all my might today

'Cause you cant stop

The motion of the ocean

Or the rain from above

You can try to stop the paradise

We're dreamin' of

But you cannot stop the rhythm

Of two hearts in love to stay

Cause you cant stop the beat!

You cant stop my happiness

Cause i like the way i am

And you just can't stop my knife and fork

When i see a christmas ham so if you don't like the way i look

Well, i just don't give a damn!

Cause the world keeps spinning

Round and 'round

And my heart's keeping time

To the speed of sound

I was lost til i heard the drums

Then i found my way

'Cause you cant stop the beat

Ever since this old world began

A woman found out if she shook it

She could shake up a man

And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it

The best that i can today

Cause you cant stop

The motion of the ocean

Or the sun in the sky

You can wonder if you wanna

But i never ask why

And if you try to hold me down

I'm gonna spit in your eye and say

That you cant stop the beat!

Oh oh oh

You can't stop today

As it comes speeding down the track

Child, yesterday is hist'ry

And it's never coming back

'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day

And it don't know white from black

Yeah!

'Cause the world keeps spinning

'Round and 'round

And my heart's keeping time

To the speed of sound

I was lost til i heard the drums

Then i found my way

'Cause you cant stop the beat

Ever since we first saw the light

A man and woman liked to shake it

On a saturday night

And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy it

With all my might today

'Cause you can't stop

The motion of the ocean

Or the rain from above

They can try to stop ths paradise

We're dreaming of

But you cannot stop the rhythm

Of two hearts in love to stay

You can't stop the beat!

Aah, aah, aah

Aah, aah, aah

Aah, aah, aah

Ever since we first saw the sun

A man and woman like to shake it

When the day is done

So we're gunna shake and shimmy

And just have some fun today

And you can't stop

The motion of the ocean

Or the rain from above

You can try to stop the paradise

We're dreaming of

But you cannot stop the rhythm

Of two hearts in love to stay

'Cause you can't stop the beat

You can't stop the beat!

You can't stop the beat!

You can't stop the beat!

You can't stop the beat!

"Wooooohooooo!" said Sapphire, still dancing even though the song had finished.

"You do know the song has stopped, right?" asked Rosalie.

"Of course!" said Sapphire, eyes flicking from side to side.

"HOW DO WE DO THIS!" said Sterling. **(AN: We were listening to the song at the time xD)**

"Yeah, what he said… wait what?" said Wolfy, woken up by the shout.

"I was trying to wake you up!" said Sterling.

"Riiiight" said Wolfy.

"Wait you were sleeping?" said Sapphire, incredulously.

"Of course, it was so boring, hearing you speak, I drifted off. Don't sound so surprised, it happens all the time. Honestly!" said Wolfy.

"Wait, I've never noticed you falling asleep!" said Sapphire, suspicious.

"Well, that's because I have mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open. You should try it. Maybe I wouldn't be able to prank you as much. So what were we talking about before I came back to life?" said Wolfy.

Sapphire started humming a song under her breath.

"What song is that?" asked Demi.

"…I'd rather not say." Sapphire said awkwardly, biting her lip. She then shrugged it off and began to hum the song again.

Wolfy's rolled her eyes, realising what the song was. "Really, Sapphire? Really?"

Sapphire grinned sweetly. "Yes. Really."

"Why are you humming How-" Wolfy was cut of by Sapphire's hand smacking over her mouth.

"Don't tell the whole world dumb-ass!" Sapphire whisper yelled.

She took her hand away from Wolfy's mouth, so Wolfy could speak.

"Fine." Wolfy said, hands on hips.

"Fine." Sapphire retorted.

"Good." (if you would like to know, Sterling is… sitting?… next to Wolfy and Demi standing next to Sapphire, as you have guessed it is rather awkward for them.)

"Good."

"Are we good?"

"Oh we are so good." The two turned back to back and stalked off in different directions.

Wolfy turned back and walked in the same direction as Sapphire. "The base is this way."

~Time Skip~

It was midnight. Sapphire, Wolfy and Emmett were sitting on Wolfy's double 4 poster bed plotting an evil plot to get back at Doug for throwing water all over Sapphire. Now Wolfy's involved so evil is guaranteed.

You know Emmett is incredibly lucky to be sitting on a bed as the boys had been commended (?) to sleeping in the ballroom, on the floor, with a thin blanket, a small pillow and music on a continues play. Whilst the girls were enjoying the luxury of one of the 20 guest rooms, on a double four poster bed with a memory foam mattress, silk blankets, thick quilts, feather cushions and pillows, an en suite, room service, a locking door, connecting doors to all other guest rooms (keys are given), a vanity chest (?), a home cinema per room, a closet, a spa in the en suite and they all had keys to use the indoor swimming pool.

**Wolfy: We are not sexist, this is just a huge prank which needs to be done for ****certain**** things to happen.**

**Sapphire: STEMI!**

Emmett was enjoying the luxury until Wolfy decided to be herself and shove him off the bed.

"Owe!" He yelled.

"Quiet!" Sapphire hissed. "We don't want to wake the others up!"

Emmett sat back on the bed, this time nowhere near Wolfy, as Sapphire sighed.

"_Right so here's the plan…"_

**Sapphire: I BET YOU ALL WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS NOW DON'T YA! Sorry its kinda short but I just wanted to get this up! Oh and this chapter is dedicated to Harmony because it's her birthday now! So please send your birthday wishes in the review! Okay now bye! *waves* **

**Zora: Aren't you forgetting something?**

**Sapphire: No…**

**Sonny: Yes you are. Now say it!**

**Sapphire: *sigh* Me and Wolfy own nothing but the plot and ourselves! You happy now?**

**Sonny and Zora: *nods smiling***


End file.
